Cultivating Authentic Mentorships Virtually
This evening I watched Scott Hanselman's keynote session on gaining mentorship and sponsorship delivered to the Microsoft Student Learn Ambassadors. Mentorship and sponsorship have been top of mind for me and evermore so as I have been confined to my home due to the pandemic. For this past year I've been pondering on the question of:
How to best approach expanding my network and gaining mentors especially during this time of COVID with the cancellation of in-person events for the foreseeable future.
It's funny because I had the opportunity to ask a senior leader their approach to expanding their network during the pandemic and their suggestion was for me to "smile and be happy". We won't go into why his response was problematic and lacked relevancy, rather in this post I'll expand on the approach to mentorship that I've taken.
Disclaimer: We are going to have different life experiences when navigating within the world. Please don't compare my experience to yours. Rather, I hope you takeaway something that you can utilize in your own journey.
My Approach
In my opinion, cultivating authentic mentorship relationships virtual or in-person is not easy, but it's so worth it.
During times prior to COVID-19, I thoroughly enjoyed attending, speaking, and volunteering at conferences and meetups for the opportunities of meeting new people, expanding my network and learning something new. The picture below is the last in-person conference that I attended. Prior to this conference I only knew 1 of the people pictured. Post conference I expanded my network tenfold and gained so much knowledge and resources to enable my success and overall had so much fun!
Representing Microsoft at the February 2020 Black Women Talk Tech Conference in NYC.
As we all know, the pandemic has shifted the way we live and work to be digitized first. How do we shift our approach to mentorship? Here's the real tea, you don't need to be in-person in order to gain mentorship. However, I do strongly believe that the process of finding an authentic mentor takes time just like any relationship. Which leads me to my next point, on trust. With most relationships but especially with mentors, having someone that I trust is #1. I have found that having mentors is especially helpful when I'm trying to take a new approach to a problem to get their perspective and response to "what would you do if." It's important for me to trust their opinion in addition to what they do with the information that I share with them.
Trust leads nicely to my next point, building these types of relationships takes intentionality and commitment. Be a good mentee by being well prepared and following up with advice that was shared by your mentor previously. Not only do I learn about ways that I can improve within my role from mentors but I've actually learned how to be a better mentee (and mentor for that matter). For instance, one of my early mentors at Microsoft set one ground rule for our mentorship — I had full autonomy of our meetings. I schedule the invite (for a time mutually agreed upon), I cancel/reschedule during conflicts and keep the invite up to date. Last, and most importantly I include an agenda with the invite. This way my mentor and I are prepared for what I would like to discuss. When I create the agenda ahead of time, I'm able to truly reflect on where I'm looking for insights. On some occasions, I may not have any agenda items therefore ensuring that I am mindful of their time — "meeting cancelled, I look forward to meeting with you next time" send!
Moral of the story, in my experience great mentorship relationships are a result of the mentee owning the logistics. Also, it's extremely important to be aware that being a mentor takes time. Consider how in any way possible you can make it easier for your mentor who is dedicating their time to help you.
Now on to identifying a mentor best fit for you and the mentor. The following are scenarios and indicators of how I've approached seeking a mentor. I tend to look for:
Someone that I've worked with on a stretch project
Someone doing something that I admire
Someone who has a particularly unique approach
Most of the above scenarios are typically indicated during my work week. However, gaining mentorship outside of your company is just as important (and something I’m in the process of doing). Some ways I’ve seen successful outcomes of this, although unconventional, are by utilizing platforms like Twitter and Clubhouse. Once you find the right and appropriate communities utilize these platforms to network and eventually identify a potential mentor.
Once you've identified who you want your mentor to be, start by requesting an initial call. I also like to add to my request why I thought we'd be a good match. During the initial call it's a good idea to review what you'd like to learn and why. Don't be afraid to reach out to folks especially within your network. The worst they would say is no. Whether that is because of lack of bandwidth or other reasons, don't let that discourage you. (This is also the advice I need to hear).
Lastly, show gratitude to your mentor — this is key! The way I like showing this is by sharing how something my mentor previously discussed helped me. Another way that I display this is by writing my mentor a recommendation letter, formally or informally.
Benefits
There are so many benefits to having a mentor. Here's my biggest takeaway: the Internet has enabled us with so much more access to people globally and a diversity of ideas. While having the opportunity to speak over coffee with your mentor may be most ideal, you can always bring your coffee with you during the Teams and Zoom meeting. Aside from possibly a difference of time zone, there is more access to people with no bounds to location. (This is a bit off topic but I do hope companies are considering how monumental this is for hiring). Take this opportunity to learn from someone new. One of my favorite parts when joining Microsoft was how many virtual communities there were (existing many years prior to COVID-19) where I had the opportunity to hear perspectives of people from around the world. I find it so insightful learning from folks from a variety of regions.
Conclusion
In conclusion, remember that mentorship takes time, be mindful of your mentor's time, and embrace the opportunities being virtual presents. If you have additional approaches to cultivating authentic mentorship relationships feel free to comment below or reach out to me on Twitter @jourdanparham. Now that I have a clear roadmap of my approach to mentorship, my next step will be the journey to formally identifying sponsors.